The Cousins War
by Bryce-daniel2009
Summary: I just thought I'd write a story about Ash's rival's meeting. This is a non-shipping story.


The Cousins War

By: Bryce Daniel

Ash and his friends are walking through a forest on the way to obtaining Ash's fourth Unova League badge. Suddenly, Pikachu's ears start twitching.

"Pika?"

"What is it, Pikachu?"

The electric rodent jumps off Ash's shoulder and points to the path ahead of them.

"I think it senses something ahead of us," Iris said.

"Then I say, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

As they got closer to the break in the tree line, they could hear voices ahead of them.

"That must be what Pikachu was trying to tell us about," Iris said.

"It is definitely not the most refined conversation I've heard."

"You want to battle?" Paul said somewhat irritably. "Fine, Tor-"

But a Pikachu with black ears and scruffy hair pops out of its ball.

"Peekajoo," it said adamantly.

"I wanted to use Torterra, but you'll do for now."

"Ha," Trip said dismissively. "You're Pikachu is retarded."

"Peekajoo," it sieved, but Paul stopped it.

"Because we're family," he said. "I'll give you five seconds to take that back. 5…"

"Oh please, your Pikachu can't even say its own name properly, and that's BASIC stuff."

"4…"

"Go ahead, keep counting. I'm not scared of a defective pokemon."

"3…Don't say I didn't warn you…2…"

He looks over at his scruffy haired Pikachu and it unleashes an extremely powerful thunderbolt aimed directly at Trip's (deleted), charring the entire upper portion of Trip's pants.

"You're lucky," Paul said. "Normally, it uses Iron Tail."

"Hey, isn't that Trip," Iris said as they came to the top of the clearing. "…But who's that he's with?"

"…..Paul….." Ash said his voice trailing.

"HELLO? EARTH TO PLANET KID!"

Both Paul and Trip turn to look up at him, but he was already most of the way down the hill laughing and shouting his ex-rival's name.

"Would you wait up? I swear you are such a kid!"

"How cute, a re-boonie-ion," Trip said satisfied with his own cleverness.

"Wait," Iris said. "You two know each other?"

"We're cousins," Paul said.

"Through marriage – not blood," Trip added quickly.

"I meant you and Ash," she said rolling her eyes.

"Of course," Ash said. "He was my rival in the Sinnoh League."

"Just as I thought, you're BOTH boonie trainers."

"WHAT WAS THAT, TRIP?"

"Don't," Paul said holding him back with his arm. "This is MY battle."

"Um-kay, hey, you've caught a – nah, it can't be."

"A Pikachu? Yes. My god, you can't recognize a pokemon you already own? That's the definition of 'basic,' or don't they teach you that in boonie-land?"

"It does have a faint aroma of familiarity to it - a lot like your Pikachu, in fact."

"It should – it IS my Pikachu!"

"I sense another boring 'Kanto story' coming."

"Actually, this was in Johto."

"Riiiight," Iris said sarcastically. "Biiiiiiig difference."

"I, for one, think this could be a colorful story that will flavor and texture to a complicated pokemon-trainer relationship!"

"Great, now I have two of you boring me."

"Just get on with it already," Paul said impatiently.

"Okay, it's a bit fuzzy, but I'll try anyway…"

"….and then I was able to rescue Pikachu from the extractor, causing it to malfunction and blow up."

"…Right, the DNA was already extracted," Cilan deduced. "But the clone wasn't finished developing yet."

"And you believe that nonsense," Trip said. "I thought 'connoisseurs' were supposed to be smarter than that."

"Well, yeah," Iris said. "It does sorta sound like the kind of thing that would happen to Ash."

"Not only that," Cilan added. "But if you look carefully, you can see the similarities in their appearance."

Ash's Pikachu smiles and then nudges his clone to do the same which it begrudgingly did.

"Hmph, like I'd waste a frame on the two of you."

The two pikachu look at each other and launch a combined Thunderbolt directly at Trip's midsection.

"….and the same temper too," Iris said.

"I just changed these clothes too," Trip whined.

"And yet, you don't seem to have learned your lesson," Paul said. "I don't care if you're family - you're still pathetic."

"No, what's 'pathetic is that IF this story is true, then the clone should be bitter about being a clone and thus trying to kill its 'original to prove its own power."

"It did…but Mewtwo stopped it at the last second with its psychic abilities."

"But, wait," Iris said. "Didn't you say Mewtwo wanted to kill the 'original pokemon' to create a race of super-powerful clone pokemon?"

"GAAAH! WOULD YOU JUST LET ME FINISH MY STORY?"

"Only a KID would act like that in response to a simple question."

"Maturity was never his strong suit," Paul said.

"I didn't think a boonie trainer like him HAD a strong suit," Trip added.

"You obviously haven't smelled his breath – P.U - and I'm a dragon trainer."

"Ax-ewww," it said curling its nose.

"CAN I FINISH MY STORY OR NOT?"

"Please do," Cilan said diplomatically. "Perhaps it will serve up some answers to the dicier questions on the menu."

"As I was saying, Mewtwo stopped Pikachu's clone from killing my Pikachu because I used my innate powers of persuasion-"

"You mean 'inane,'" Iris said butting into his flashback.

Ash ignored her and kept going: "to convince him that not all humans are bad, and that humans and pokemon CAN be friends. Just like Pikachu and I, right, buddy?"

"Pikachu"

"Yeah right," Trip said. "But you still haven't answered MY question: why aren't they at each other's throats?"

"They WERE, but my Pikachu helped Paul's Pikachu fend off Team Rocket-"

"Hmph," Paul scoffed. "My grandmother – OUR grandmother - could 'fend off' Team Rocket."

"Ah yeah?" Meowth said as a set of giant mechanical hands swooped up the pikachus from their shoulders and threw them into small metal cages. "I'd lieg ta see ha try"

"Speak of the devil, and he appears," Trip said. "It was one of Gran's favorite sayings."

"Complimentary words indeed," Jessie said.

"But we'll release your pokemon when we feel the need."

"I don't have time for this garbage," Paul said. "Pikachu use Thunderbolt!"

"Hahaha," Jessie laughed mockingly. "Is that the best you twerps could think of?"

"We thoughd ahead and made ah cayges elect-ricidy proof."

"If you'll excuse us," James said.

"We godt an exit ta maig."

"Toodles," Jessie said as the three of them stuck their tongues at the trainers below.

"Team Rocket," Ash Shouted "GET BACK HERE!"

"No way," James said.

"They're OURS now, hahaha"

"Deal wit it, twerps."

"No way! Tranquill, I choose you!"

"Those are steel cages so Mag-"

"Don't," Ash said. "You'll hurt your Pikachu."

"Fine, Honchcrow, stand by for battle!"

"Neither of them will us any good, Unfeazant, come out and attack that balloon."

"Tranquill, use Air Cutter on the arms!"

"Honchrow, use Confuse Ray on the losers in the basket."

"Wayd, you can't do th-aah – Loog at all da priddy buttons! Day light up when I prez 'em"

Suddenly, the cages both pikachu are in open. "Tranquill, intercept them!"

Meanwhile, the human members of TR are doing a somewhat sloppy Tango inside their ballon – one that was about to get hit by Unfezant's Air Cutter attack.

"Now, Honchcrow finish them off with Dark Pulse."

The attack sends Team Rocket blasting off into the sky.

"I've always wanted to fly," Jessie said deliriously.

"Hey, look," James said. "I can do the back stroke – and I can't even swim."

"Hey, whad 'appened ta my buttons?"

Tranquil lands safely on the ground with both pikachu in tow.

"Pikachu, you're alright!"

"Pikachu, return," Paul said holding his pokeball out. But Pikachu shook its head adamantly. "Well, aren't you a stubborn pokemon."

"My Pikachu is the same way," Ash said. "It likes riding on my shoulder way more than being in a pokeball. Right, Pikachu?"

"Pikachu"

"Fine," he said, and the scruffy haired mouse leaped onto his shoulder.

"Just remember," Trip said. "Your little reunion wouldn't have happened if it weren't for me."

"Um, thanks," Paul said with an awkward mix of sarcasm and genuine appreciation.

"Yeah, thanks, Trip," Ash said excitedly.

"It was nothing. You needed help, I gave it. It's basic stuff."

"I know you're family, but you're STILL pathetic."

Paul turns to walk away, but Ash stops him.

"Wait, Paul, I forgot to ask how many gym badges you have. I have three!"

"None, I haven't had time for gym battles. I came here to visit my cousin… but I might stay to see some sights."

"May I humbly suggest a meal at the Triple Threat Café in Straiton City? Mention my name and not only will they take 10% off your order, but they'll also throw in both a gym battle AND a pokemon evaluation for FREE!"

"Um, thanks," Paul said.

"Bye, see you again sometime," Ash said waving good-bye to his ex-rival. Paul and his Pikachu simply raise their hands in a casual 'later' gesture.

"How come you didn't offer US a discount," Iris asked pointedly.

"You have to ask your server about specials. Besides, you have to order something to get a discount on it."

"Seriously," Trip said. "That's basic business. Whatever, you're ALL pathetic. I'm leaving."

"Bye, I guess," Ash said noticeably less excited.

"Wait," Iris said. "If Paul is going to Striaton City, where are WE going?"

"Who cares," Ash said. "As long as they've got food, I'm there."

"Thinking with your stomach is such a kid thing to do."

"Maybe," Cilan said with a dash of irony. "But it keeps our café in business."


End file.
